time is time, and it piles up, waiting for me to collect myself

2004-10-20, 12:01 p.m.

a man looks into an abyss. there is nothing to return his gaze. it is here that he will find out who he is.
he can be destroyed, or he can step away with a stately measure of his value, but you cannot remain stoic in a place like this, because the universal joke is not present, absurdity has dominion.

who knew it would take more than one moment to come to any realization in such a place. i would have thought the snapping of a human would take less time than a rain drop's submission on the slate patio outside my window. you can calculate hours of such a stare by how much sleep is lost, and how many weeks have been spent forgetting what happened during the day; my tracks in the snow are covered eloquently by a fresh storm, blanket my reason and keep it warm with your white charms.

tonight im swimming to my favorite island, lightless and unfettered, the sands are warm even in the dead of night.