what can i do except to keep running

2005-02-14, 11:51 p.m.

people in saudi arabia were banned from celebrating valentine's day this year, how unfortunate (you might wanna clean off the area in front of the monitor, because some of the sarcasm from that last statement dripped out of the screen.) look at a random journal tonight and you will see some two- bit romantic spilling out his or her guts out for another person. this is also very unfortunate. a heart, when opened for just one second, is liable to be placed on the plate of rejection to be served with a creme brouleat side dish.

no, no its not just tonight, my little slice of cupid (placed on the tongue of each unborn fetus to be swallowed and cultivated as they breach the shores of puberty and beyond) is vibrating inside my chest, a chaotic vector map that contains enough arrows to supply the archers of three thousand years past.

this is what i am; i used to have a reoccuring dream where i would be in a barren desert at sunset. i would be running towards a crack in the earth, and at the las second i would jump to avoid a certain death. just seconds later i would see another crack, and would have to make yet another jump. the scary part was i couldnt stop running and when i finally gave up and dropped into the blackness... i would be in the same desert running again.

i am the momentum of eons of biological intuition. i will keep finding someone to run towards, then find out they are a pitfall, and i have to avoid them

when i finally fall down, i am in the same spot, ready to be sworn into an interation that is wrought from potential euphoria and impending doom.

this is an ode to no one person