will i be upside down tomorrow morning or is this the static state

2004-08-12, 11:08 p.m.

spin the record inside me, and fill me with scratches. paint my bones whatever you want, just as long as the scrapes and bruises dont show for the guests. i dont think it can be metal, it cant be iron or tin, platinum or uranium. it can only be the countless millions of pieces of you that are burning my stomach and making me pace the floor.

somewhere i missed out on the part where this was easy, and where reciprocation was NORMAL, just for a little while. no feeling of guilt or doubt or pity, just one pure moment of shared glee; whatever the fuck it is. ill never find that on my own and i can never force someone to manufacture it for my own leisure.