waiting to blast

2003-05-12, 10:12 p.m.

these days, being the only ones that i know, and with the understanding that, in my short lived life i am ignorant, seem so slow and perverse. in a way im finding the words to come out like a car from its garage, with only a moments hesitation to look behind for a kids bike. a morsel of someone on my platter would sacciate a hunger that i know so well; a stomach growl; the baggy eyes; the tired limbs.

a simple suspicion about the timing of objects in my periferal vision is making my vision shift like a cartoon character.

i combed my fingers through my hair to get some starnds; against the white screen they exist in negatives of color and shape. i spin the negatives between my thumb and forefinger to see them twitch and turn, gyrating to a songless sonnet that static would sing for its lover. and in the hazy stare of mine i am always finding the same ditch, always walking in the same garden of memories; the smells are sweet but they are just the passing wind and i am leaving now.