its been a while

2005-04-07, 2:07 p.m.

never draw so close to the heat that you forget you must eat.

and never forget that the space we walk in a discrete, with platforms of quarks living a cosmopolitan existence. walking through the city streets of a quantum where the homeless slumber in absolute silence and the rain comes once a year when someone privately gives their body to the gnashing saw of life; this is the reality that i see.

you may see the flowers in bloom
you may see a child crying alone in the park across from your broken down apartment.
you may wake up and smell toast and eggs before the light can shatter your iris.

like a carbon atom, we live with the possibilities for greatness, or shit, or anything between, but in just a few people does the story compose itself unimpeeded.

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so matt sits in his wheelchair and i gander at the oregon trail that his tires beat into the freshly cut grass. he says that the children have faith, so we can learn from them just as much as we can teach. i think about the times ive entertained the idea of having a kid. to have is to impart, and yet i see that his words unearth a new realm of value in a child. craig and i cascade down from the elevated state of conversation and we both smash into the earth with a metallic clank.

his heart is a symphony

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the question remains, why do i hibernate for days without extended contact with friends or family? a month could go by in a day, ill see the phone shudder on the kitchen table and then a double digit voice message reminder. if my phone could talk then it would scream. if my chair could talk then it would sing me to sleep for a hundred years. no matter, it is the way i came into the world, and i could amputate my heart, rebuild a new one from guilded iron and lemon scented dust, but i think someday that someone will want to keep the one i have now