i sleep inside the violin case

2005-03-11, 8:18 p.m.

so there's this bouncing icon of brad pitt in this advertisement at the top of my computer screen. i think they want me to kiss him for a prize. you are going to become overrated before the others can see your work, and before they can dissect your mind. ill lay it all out on a cold steel table, with shiny new scalpels for easy access, and you can all eat your share.
round tables-just like the ones i used to sit at in 1st grade when we learned how to work in groups- are placed around the room, dressed in bleached white cloths that make the floor look like a minefield of snowballs.

everyone have a seat and watch this show, im performing your favorite tricks; ill dance the fandango with a walrus in a flapper dress. you can all settle in to succeed, ill be your bellhop -get your coat?- -need a hug?- too, you love when im condensed to a single hand to hold or to help with the groceries.

charlie, wake up. we need to be going now, because the sun is seeping trhough your canary yellow window shades. you wanted to go for a long drive, remember? go through towns that are filled with dusty dreams and recently abandoned restaurants. the back door always has the same mastelock pad lock that has become all too easy to pick anymore. you go inside and find a seat next to boarded up window and draw stick figure pedestrians while i put a pot up for brewing and light the stove. when i come up to ask for your order, youre always so courteous
"how's the kids these days"
"good good, johnny is going for varsity ball this year"
"im gonna have the regular"
and with that you resume reading a make-believe article on alien contact while i fix up the eggs and hash browns on the grill.

thats where im going to find myself huddled in a corner of this room of needles and self doubt. that's where ill hear a knock at the door, and thats when ill have the wits to say 'let's go'