i just came on to find a reason to laugh

2004-12-21, 1:18 a.m.

i looked around and everyone was so desparate.
you need to be deathly depressed and maniacally happy.
you need to have a shopping list and a open heart for the ones without money.
love the music you never heard but pledge alliegance to criticism.

ill fill up this glass and watch it dissapate, just like the sun was walking past me to the kitchen. with each second that i concentrate my throat feels more like a wooden pipeline, the nails are loosening their grip and the splinters are contaminating the water. i would love to find a reason to forget, and become an amnesiac, so these women can grate against my humanity blissfuly aware that i wont remember upon waking up. i think maybe ill remember the girls the same way a kid remembers a shiny toy while window shopping. we will meet in a dream, have coffee and iron things out. you can look through the want-ads and ill find out when the new drama show is on.

lets watch people tear at each others throats, and they will assuredly put down bets on who will come out on top.

i call you a bitch, and you will find a post-it about some time i was vulnerable. lets put them together and get famous, we can be read by hundreds of people daily, and people will love us, finally