you see her, you hear her, you want her, you want to

2004-09-23, 10:55 a.m.

this is a vast room, filled with the hustle and bustle of eight thousand kids who are moving from end to end with drink in hand. the ambient music turns out to be Clinic
dah dah dah dah dah dah dah... NO
(i should probably be listnening, or at least, remembering the video.) we all sit down in a haphazzardly formed circle, and if you could draw a line through each persons thoughts, im sure the shape would resemble a quantum landscape. these are the trees, with meson winds, crackling the dying twigs that yearn for sap and leaf. i am the ground, various compounds pressed together like particle board; particles that pop in and out of existence, changing my core temperature every second or two.
right now i feel superheated, exchanging essential words -comedic as they are- in an effort to fit in. im forgetting while i talk, and it helps me out tremendously. instantly, i am cooled, marrow freezing on the spot, and my blood cells emit a broken scream, gasp gasp, find the oxygen that courses slowly through the veins. i find myself turned at such an angle that i would appear to be alone, maybe a stranger would occupy my vacinity and share their biological being.
when the doors finally open, and we are pouring onto the street like spilt milk sliding down the tile grout, i sneak a second for myself, and look down an open alleyway. perfect juxstaposition of cement and sky, a light catches someones face when they look back in my direction.