bird claws

2004-08-27, 11:23 a.m.

i dont really know where to begin when i sit down and try to wash away all the noises; leading me deep into a state that nobody else can see. that hidden place, dwelling somewhere between the myriad of organs and pools of blood, constructed out of sticks and stones that poke into the spongey flesh of my lungs. restraining my breath, i find the sounds fading slowly, then as if they fell off a cliff, there is utter silence.

like a tomb

like a child in dreamless slumber

i want to know the answers to the things around me. i want to know im not walking a broken path to which all derivations are fruitless. on the sky is a face, projected so wholly that teh sun is covered its veil; the eruption clouds gather like children on the playgrounds of the mountain tops. this is where i am wondering, i have chosen a path too steep and now im going to fall. 'please reassure me that im doing alright'

i dont know where to ask and i dont know who would answer. it feels like a continual curve, crossing back and forth in a lazy fashion, leaving me queezy; leaving me wanting more than i think i deserve.