night and day, i saw the sun coming up today

2003-01-25, 5:29 p.m.

no, its a truth, that i am here, in this chair, and i dont think ive landed one bit of myself in the present today. its got to be that i am the metal shed of recycled cans and bottles, and nothing in me is left unopened.

i took pictures that never developed, tons of them were clicking and whirring preceeded a black screen and static number.

never before did a true polarity strike inside me like this, and im not sure how to react or how to cry, or laugh, or shrug; the intitial reaction tells novels about your soul.

you know, its a singular existence that scares any person because, who has the trust in themselves to walk alone. it seems pathetic to society, when someone wants that, because, as the termites form perfect arches as a community, you cannot build a temple with your own hands.

this would be the crossroads, and the deliberation; the sterile knife of scince upon morality.

this would be the time where, just like last time, i will need to open mye eyes and take in the sun light from other people untill i regenerate.

this means i cant lay down and fall asleep, not without all of you telling me your stories