pink moon is on its way

2002-12-13, 12:04 a.m.

lean back i say to myself, ha and ha. i suppose breask are good, no dialogue with you tonight. it goes that a break from something is good, but i dont really want a break. haha i say in my simpleminded way, how i am the schoolboy, how i need this and you may merely pleasure it, but you dont require it. or maybe its just this telescope i use, this monochromatic lens, cant even read into three year old psychology. well right now "im not so lovely, how about you?"

(adjective) for right now:

:yell at myself for being around two people who are in love

:being the fool in this anthropic world (please i would still like to explain myself to you about the whole perfectly flawed thing)

:feeling stupid for this addiction, feeling stupid

:laughing that you can be on for three minutes and ta ta

:laughing at the picture i am making, because i don even know who it is or why i am drawing it

:mock laugh at scratching face, shocked face and mock smile

:ugh

sit and i just want to leave. leave and i just keep waking up sitting (smirk at that line i do)

if your feeling are fickle and much the same as a drawing book, what are mine?

:chair i made in 7th grade. sitting in my garage, wouldn't even be able to seat one person without breaking

:razorblade suitcase

:hollow log

:couples sunset (rancid it is)

:gift wrap from opened presant

:soaked clothing, cold and cold and i could write for so much longer, maybe i will

haha, i dont know, when i went down there i kept saying "well, this is right because it could be fun and great and even if it doesn't work then you still went down there" and ha to myself, i didnt want it to not work... yeah. it didnt even happen, and now it is at least a POSSIBILTY that you could come up here. hmm, wow indeed that would be nice. nice enough that i wouldnt find myself sitting here for a few days anyway, but i am sitting now so i will, yes